The effects of positive illusions on relationship quality

The effects of prescribed illusions on family birth caseA general presumption in the study of interpersonal relationships is that closeness is a significant, desired, and requisite char subr emergeineeristic of relationship cheer (Berscheid, Snyder, Omoto, 1989). According to Berscheid et al. (1989) partners physical proximity is a requirement for closeness and relationship satisfaction. However there is mixed evidence regarding inform levels of satisfaction in relationships where partners be physically separate (i.e. long distance romantic relationships, LDRRs). Because partners in LDRRs presumably have less face-to-face (FtF) fundamental interaction than partners in close proximal romantic relationships (CPRRs), the literature infers that partners in LDRRs should report pitifuler levels of satisfaction than partners in CPRRs. Indeed, some question suggests that partners in LDRRs report lower levels of satisfaction than partners in CPRRs (Van Horn, Arnone, Nesbitt, Desile ts, Sears, Giffin, Brudi, 1997). Counterintuitively, Guldner and Swenson (1995) open up no differences in levels of satisfaction, intimacy and trust between LDRRs and CPRRs. Limited amounts of explore addresses these divergent findings with regards to relationship fiber measures (i.e. satisfaction, optimism, intimacy) in LDRRs and CPRRs. The face explore suggests that dictatorial illusions, defined broadly as make cognitive construal processes, help to elucidate these conflicting findings. Recent research shows that positive illusions atomic number 18 more unmistakable in LDRRs than in CPRRs (Stafford Merolla, 2007). Because Murray, Holmes, and Griffin (1996a) propose that positive illusions decrease relational uncertainty, the present study suggests that partners in LDRRs use positive illusions more than partners in CDRRs because their deprivation of FtF interaction heightens relationship uncertainty.Positive IllusionsAccording to Murray, Holmes, and Griffin (1996b pp ), positive illusions argon qualities that hoi polloi see in their partners that their partners do not see in themselves. They atomic number 18 the result of motivated cognitive processes whereby bulk exaggerate the qualities and traits of their partner and understate their weaknesses in the face of relationship doubt and uncertainty (Murray et al. 1996a). Murray, Holmes, and Griffin (1996a) argue that slew develop positive illusions of their romantic partners organically through the development of their relationship. They claim that developing romantic relationships are replete with uncertainty. In the beginning of a relationship, people are learning to understand and predict their partners behavior. In order to maintain security in and certainty of the relationship, people adjust their cognitions astir(predicate) their partner, focusing on their virtues. Building on past literature regarding self-fulfilling effects of perceptions, they argue that by focusing on the positive a spects of their partner, people leave alone tend to have positive interactions with their partner that contribute to a favorable view of their partner as the right person (e.g. Snyder, Tanke, Berscheid, 1977).As relationships develop, partners become more interdependent and their investments increase (e.g., Levinger, 1983). Furthermore, everyplace time, partners become more aware of each others inherent shortcomings threatening their beliefs and idealizations that their partner is the right person. According to Murray and colleagues (1996a), as these realities grow more unming take, people become motivated to maintain confidence in their relationship and their partner provoking the idealization process.Research has shown that positive illusions have self-fulfilling effects. Specifically, intimates who idealise their partner experience greater decreases in relationship doubt and relationship conflict as well as greater increases in relationship satisfaction than intimates who do not view their partners (Murray et al., 1996a, 1996b). Murray and Holmes (1997) found that partners in both dating and married relationships who idealise each other experienced greater love, greater trust and less ambivalence in their relationships than those intimates who did not idealize each other. In a longitudinal follow-up study the authors found that among dating couples, those people that held stronger illusions round their partner (i.e. more idealistic perceptions of their partner) ab initio were less likely to terminate the relationship than those individuals who held less idealistic illusions about their partners.Given that positive illusions fend off relational uncertainty (Murray et al., 1996a), the present research pull up stakes examine whether associations between relational uncertainty and positive illusions are moderated by relationship type (i.e. LDRRs vs. CPRRs). Specifically, this study will address whether relationships marked by greater uncertainty (i.e. LDRRs) are likely to engender the use of positive illusions.Recent research suggests that couples in LDRRs are more likely to use positive illusions than couples in CPRRs (Stafford Merolla, 2007). They suggest a possible reason for this phenomenon. Idealizations stem from a lack of FtF interaction, a hallmark of LDRRs. Indeed they found that idealizations in LDRRs were a) more apparent than in CPRRs, b) think to a lack of FtF communication, and c) related to increased optimism about the future of the relationship. Although initial evidence supports the idea that positive illusions are used as a way to cope with the lack of FtF interaction in LDRRs, there are a number of limitations that need to be addressed (small sample size, misfortune of other mediated channels of communication). upcoming research should address these limitations and offer alternative explanations for why positive illusions are more apparent in LDRRs than in CPRRs. This is because the divergences between the tw o relationship types are presumably not limited to quantity of FtF interaction, but having substantive qualitative differencesBecause Murray, et al. (1996a) suggests that positive illusions decrease relational uncertainty, the present study suggests that partners in LDRRs use positive illusions more than partners in CDRRs because they face greater relational uncertainty. Supporting this idea, Sahlstein (2004) interviewed partners in LDRRs and found that approximately 12% of couples interviewed describe that time apart creates uncertainty and unknowns because partners are not sharing experiences. In addition, Sahlstein (1996) found that partners in LDRRs and CPRRs who were more certain of interaction rituals (i.e., interaction that occurs in a fixed manner at a fixed time) were more likely to report higher relationship satisfaction than partners who were not certain of interaction rituals.relational UncertaintyAccording to Knobloch and Solomon (2002b), romantic relationships are pri me contexts for experiencing uncertainty. Relational uncertainty is the degree of confidence that people have in their perceptions of involvement within interpersonal associations (Knobloch Solomon, 1999).There are three main sources of relational uncertainty that arise in romantic relationships self uncertainty, partner uncertainty, and relationship uncertainty (Knobloch Solomon, 1999 Knobloch, Solomon, Cruz, 2001). Self uncertainty includes partners reservations about their own involvement in the romantic relationship. Partner uncertainty involves peoples doubts about their partners participation in the relationship. Relationship uncertainty constitutes doubts about the relationship itself.During relationship development, people are learning to navigate, understand, and predict their partners behavior. People experience uncertainty about their own and their partners designs, beliefs, perceptional states, etc. (Berger, 1995). Because relational uncertainty is a negative aversi ve state, partners are motivated to reduce this aspecting, especially if they want to remain committed to their partner and their relationship. Prior research has found that relational uncertainty is positively related to negative relationship outcomes much(prenominal) as jealousy (Knobloch, Solomon, Cruz, 2001) and negatively related to positive relationship outcomes such as intimacy (Knobloch Solomon, 2002 Thesis Solomon, 2008). Because LDRRs are characterized by relational uncertainty (Cameron Ross, 2007 Shalstein, 2004) and experienced uncertainty is linked to negative relational outcomes (decreases in intimacy, increase in jealousy), the present study will investigate the chair effects of relationship type (LDRR or CPRR) on the relationship between relational uncertainty and positive illusions, as well as relationship quality measures (i.e., satisfaction, intimacy, optimism).Outline of proposed study and hypothesesThe present study contributes to the growing literature on LDRRs by investigating a mediation model of relationship satisfaction moderated by relationship type (LDRR or CPRR) in order to explain how and why partners in LDRRs differ from partners in CPRRs in reports of relationship quality measures (i.e. satisfaction, intimacy, optimism). Within such parameters, this manoeuver focuses on positive illusions as a possible mediator of the relationship between relational uncertainty and relationship quality (i.e. satisfaction, closeness and optimism). In addition, the current study suggests that relationship type (LDRRs or CPRRs) will moderate the relationship between relational uncertainty and positive illusions (mediator variable) such that relational uncertainty will be associated with greater positive illusions for partner in LDRRs than partners in CPRRs. This study is a 2 (relationship type LDRR vs. CPRR) x 2 (relational certainty low vs. high) x 2 (positive illusions low vs. high) between groups factorial design. The dependent measures are relationship satisfaction, intimacy, and optimism.HypothesesPrior research indicates that relational uncertainty is associated with jealousy (Knobloch et al, 2001), negative emotion (Aune et al., 1994), and decreased liking for a romantic partner (Kellerman Reynolds). Additionally, research suggests that uncertainty reduction fosters feelings of intimacy (Knobloch Solomon Theiss Solomon, 2008). In line with this research, the present study proposesH1 People who are uncertain about their relationship will report lower levels of satisfaction and intimacy in their relationship than people who are certain about their relationship.Murray et al (1996a) argue that positive illusions develop naturally through relationship progression. According to them, partners idealize their partners exaggerating their qualities and understating their weaknesses in the face of relational uncertainty. In addition, Stafford and Merolla (2007) suggest that lack of FtF interaction leads partners in LDRRs to idealize their partners more than partners in CPRRs. They also found that positive illusions in LDRRs were related to feelings of optimism about the future of their relationship. These findings, taken together, suggest that positive illusions act as a coping mechanism for partners who face relational uncertainty. Formally statedH2 People who are uncertain about their relationship will idealize their partners more than those people who are certain about their relationship.H3 People who idealize their partner will be more satisfied with and optimistic about their relationship than people who do not idealize their partner.H4 People who are in LDRRs will be more likely to idealize their partner than people who are in CPRRs.Even though some research suggests otherwise (Van Horn, Arnone, Nesbitt, Desilets, Sears, Giffin, Brudi, 1997 Helgeson, 1994a), partners in LDRRs have been found to report akin levels of satisfaction, trust, and intimacy as partners in CPRRs (Guldner Swens on, 1995). Counterintuitively, these divergent findings suggest that partners in LDRRs and CPRRs do not significantly differ on their reports of satisfaction. Formally statedH5 People who are in LDRRs will report similar levels of relationship satisfaction as people in CPRRs.Proposed StudyTwo hundred (25 people per cell) partners who are currently in a LDRR or a CPRR will be asked to participate in the present study (the interest in this study is with individual responses not that of the dyad). Participants will be asked to fill out an informed consent form. Then a questionnaire will be given to each participant. This questionnaire will include a question about relationship status, as well as measures of relational uncertainty, positive illusions, satisfaction, intimacy, and optimism. In addition, participants will be asked to fill out a demographic questionnaire (age, length of relationship, attachment style, etc.)ResultsOverview of Analytic dodgeGiven that couples in contrast to individuals served as participants, partners responses will likely be interdependent. Advised by Kenney (1988), couples will serve as the unit of analysis. guesswork 1 predicts that people who are certain about their relationship will report lower levels of satisfaction and intimacy than people who are certain about their relationships. A MANOVA will be conducted with ride as the within-dyad factor and relational certainty (low or high) as the between subjects factor. Hypothesis 2 predicts that uncertain people will idealize their partners more than those people who are certain. A MANOVA will be conducted with sex as the within-dyad factor and relational certainty as the between subjects factor. Hypothesis 3 predicts that people who idealize their partner more will be more satisfied than people who do not idealize their partner. A MANOVA will be conducted with sex as the within-dyad factor and positive illusions (high or low) as the between subjects factor. Hypotheses 4 and 5 pred ict that people in LDRRs will idealize their partner more than people in CPRRS but that both partners in LDRRs and in CPRRs will report similar levels of satisfaction. A MANOVA will be conducted with sex as the within-dyad factor and relationship type (LDRR or CPRR) as the between subjects factor.DiscussionThe purpose of the current research is to add to the burgeoning literature on LDRRs. Specifically, the goal is to show that positive illusions mediate the relationship between relational uncertainty and relationship quality measures. In addition, the present study suggests that relationship type moderates the relationship between relational uncertainty and positive illusions. If the proposed hypotheses are supported, there will be implications for future research focused on positive illusions and LDRRs. Specifically, the results of this study could be applied to a therapeutic setting. If positive illusions are found to be related to positive relationship outcomes then therapists c ould teach couples to use this coping technique as a way to deal with the stress of maintaining a LDRR.One limitation of the proposed study is that the variables of interest are measured not manipulated. If the present results are supported, future research should attempt to manipulate relational uncertainty to determine if there is a causal relationship between uncertainty, positive illusions, and relationship quality measures. Although to date there are no relational uncertainty manipulations, future research should modify the self uncertainty priming procedure discussed in Hogg, Sherman, Dierselhuis, Maitner, and MoYtt (2007) for this purpose. In addition to conducting experiments, future research should also study other possible moderators of the proposed model. For example, attachment style as a moderator, do insecurely attached partners feel even more uncertain in LDRR than securely attached partners? If so, would they be even more or less likely to use positive illusions. Fu ture research should address these intriguing questions.The present study also brings up a number of conceptual issues and questions. For example, although positive illusions counteract doubts people hold about the realities of their partners imperfections and relationship problems, are there some more severe relationship problems that should not be construed and instead be directly addressed? Recent research suggests that these cognitive construal processes are maladaptive for partners who face more severe or frequent relationship problems (McNulty, OMara Karney, 2008). In a longitudinal study, McNulty et al. (2008) found that although positive illusions led to greater marital satisfaction in healthy marriages (i.e., less relationship problems and observed negative behavior), these cognitive processes also led to a decrease in marital satisfaction for those partners in troubled marriages. The authors suggest that partners who face mild marital problems may benefit from using posit ive illusions rather than facing potential conflict in addressing these problems. However, employing positive illusions to cope with relationships marked by more sever marital problems (physical or psychological abuse) may just exacerbate these problems everywhere time. In relation to LDRRs, perhaps partners should not employ positive illusions over long periods of time and instead directly address problems associated with negotiating time apart if they want to ensure the future of their relationship.Another interesting issue that arises deals with how partners in LDRRs that idealize their partner fair when they make a transition from LDRR to CPRR. Recent work by Stafford and Merolla (2007) found that upon transitioning to a CPRR, people formerly in LDRRs who idealized their partner were more likely to terminate their relationship than people formerly in LDRRs who idealized their partner less. This suggests that although positive illusions might act as a coping strategy for partne rs who deal with high relational uncertainty, this strategy does not seem to work when the relationship type changes.

The Minor Post Exilic Prophets Essay -- essays research papers fc

Before the Babylonian exile, Biblical prophesy reached its highest point. Prophets such as Jeremiah and Ezekiel changed and molded the scope of Israelite religion. Their writings were intelligent, insightful, well developed, and contained a great spiritual meaning. Following the Babylonian exile, however, prophesy took a depressing downward turn. There are many post exilic prophets, yet their writings are usually short, mostly irrelevant, repetitive, and, for the most part, anonymous.Though this is the case for many of these prophets, their works cannot be overlooked. Haggai and Zechariah were leaders in the cultic reform of the Israelite people. Malachai calmed their fears, and aware them of Gods love. Still other prophets told of a new, Messianic time when the word of the overlord would be held in its former glory. These were the most important works, as post exilic Israel needed not only protection, but spiritual guidance to sustain their society.The prophet Haggai was in int egral figure in uniting the Israelite people. Upon return to their homeland, the Israelites engraft most of the infrastructure in a state of disrepair, with the people uncaring for their moral and social responsibilities, to say nothing for their religious practices. (OVC) Even the temple of the Lord had been destroyed. Haggai emphasized the return to a more cultic society. Through Haggai, God explained the plight of the Israelite people, as in Haggai 16 "You have sown much, but harvested itty-bitty you eat, but there is not enough to be satisfied you put on clothing, but no one is warm enough...Why? Because of My house which lies desolate fleck each of you runs to his own house." (Haggai 19) The word of Haggai is accepted as the word of God, and the temple is rebuilt in less than four years. "I am with you," said the Lord,in Haggai 113 when the temple was finally built. (EIB)The prophesy of Haggai did not end with the building of the Lords temple. He offered a me ssage of hope to the people of Israel. Haggai said that the promises made by God would be kept, now that He had a dwelling place within the city. God inspired the people of the newly reformed city, saying "Who is left hand among you who saw this temple in its former glory?...Does it not seem to you like nothing in comparison? The latter glory of this house impart be grea... ...he post-exilic period have lasted in Israel for hundreds of years. I found it ironic, however, that after the nation healed itself, it immediatly began to discuss plans for war with other nations. Throughout the Bible, there are discussions of prosperity and pease, but does it have to come at the expense of other nations? It would have been more economical for the Israelites to at least establish a satisfying medium for trade, and a constant source of manpower and funds before they began to wage war on other cities. In researching this paper, I found the OVC to be especially helpful. It contained a ver se by verse breakdown of the entire book, as well as historical backgrounds. Scripture quotations are from my New American Standard Bible.Works CitedCarstensen, Roger N. The Book of Zechariah. From The Interpreters One Volume Commentary on the Bible. Abingdon Press, 1971.Achtemeier, Paul J. Harpers Bible Dictionary. Harper and Row, 1985.Carey, Gary. Cliffs Notes on Old Testament. Cliffs Notes, Inc, 1995.Barker, William P. Everyone in the Bible. Fleming H. Revell, 1966.Brownrigg, Ronald and Comay, Joan. Whos Who in the Bible. passPublishers, Inc, 1946 and 1952.

Comparing the Poetry of Gary Snyder and Ruth Stone Essay -- Comparison

Comparing the Poetry of Gary Snyder and Ruth StoneGary Snyder is not only a poet, but a preacher of sorts. His poems carry powerful messages slightly getting back to your roots. His poems operate strong themes of anti-consumerism and spirituality. Facts is a short piece consisting of facts on consumerism in America. This piece warns of the dangers of over consumption and lack of moderation. In most cases, however, Snyder does appear far too extreme in his views, care in By Frazier Creek Falls where is says We could live on this Earth / Without clothes or tools. This theme of primitivism is a common theme in Snyders poetry. Many of his poems are about nature and the uncivilized world. the settings of his poems are often woods, lakes, mountain trails, or other similar uninhabited uncultivated areas. Snyders poetry is sometimes political activism in disguise. Four Changes is less like a poem and more like an environmental extremists manifesto. Each of the convinces cl oses with a suggestion of what type of social or political action to take in order to make the aforementioned change occur.Loss is a major theme in Ruth Stones poetry, although her poems are rarely depressing as one might expect from loss poems. Instead, her poems contain a bitter yet sharp tone of humor. She writes about the loss of her husband, old lovers, her mother, and the past. Stone also writes about the dangers of getting too caught up in the modern world and losing touch with our roots. In The Solution she refers to My friend the Supermarket which brings her gratification in several ways. In Lullaby she writes about babies who kiss their computer goodnight and tells how they platform computers after putting on thei... ...aired Mother and writes many poems about mothers.Both Snyder and Stone make use of strong concrete images in their poems. In The vat Snyder appeals to almost all of the senses by talking about the crackle of waterdrops and the scent of cedar and h is wife entering the sauna, letting in cool air. In rest Stones intense use of adjectives and figurative language creates strong images in the readers mind. She describes her surroundings as wrinkled skin on a cup of boiled milk an describes the waters muscular flow.The writings of both poets can be described as both transparent and complex at the same time, just like the world theyre writing about. While on a purely literal level you may be reading about loss, family, traveling, or nature, all of the poems have a deeper meaning about these topics that the poet leaves the reader to discover.

Literacy In America Essay -- Illiteracy In America

At least 40 million American adults need stronger literacy skills to take advantage of more lifelong learning opportunities (Knowles 12). first base literacy limits life chances, regardless of how it is defined or measured. According to The Random House Dictionary literacy is defined as the quality or state of being literate person, esp. the capacity to rent and write. Another breakdown of the word, from the same source is possession of education. Basic skills and literacy abilities are widely viewed as necessities for lifelong learning and the development of success among individuals, families, communities, and charge nations. Better knowledge about literacy is an essential condition for improving it. Helping children improve their literacy skills can help them develop the capacity for lifelong learning, keep measure with changing educational expectations and rapid technological change, and achieve their life goals. Today in society there are many adults with poor literacy s kills who lack the stem they need to find and keep decent jobs, to support their childrens education and help them mold a literate future. I have taken one and only(a) small step towards this difficulty by tutoring at two schools. The more time people put towards helping the youth of America is the more literate our population can become. Every small action can help, even if it is just tutoring at local middle and junior high schools.To determine the literacy skills of American adults, the 1992 National mature Literacy Survey (NALS) used test items that resembled everyday life tasks. The NALS classified the results into five levels that are now commonly used to describe adults literacy skills. In Level 1 almost all of the adults can read a little but not well enough to fill out an application, read a food label, or read a simple story to a child. Adults in Level 2 ordinarily can perform more complex tasks much(prenominal) as comparing, contrasting, or integrating pieces of inf ormation but usually not higher-level reading and problem-solving skills. Adults in levels 3 through 5 usually can perform the same types of more complex tasks with increasing length and subject matter (Knox 37). Very few adults are completely illiterate they hardly fall into the lower levels of literacy. Between 21 and 23 percent of the adult population or approximately 44 million people, according to the National Adult Literacy Survey (NALS... ...lar choice of activity and I feel this project helps our community run in an unending circle of assistance.Through volunteer work such as the activities that I have participated in the past semesters, I foresee the solution of the illiteracy problem in the country. There is hope for the future of this problem because people like myself work for this cause. If others get involved, illiteracy will continue to be reduced. Literacy is at the heart of a nations future . . . and the family is at the heart of literacy. The home is a childs fir st school . . . a parent is a childs first teacher . . . and spoken communication is a childs first subject.-UnknownWorks CitedKlevins, Chester. Materials & Methods-In Adult and Continuing Education. Los Angeles Klevens Publication Inc., 1987.Knowles, Malcolm S. The Modern Practice of Adult Education. Chicago Follett Publishing Company. 1980.Knox, Alan B. Helping Adults Learn. San Francisco Jossey-Bass Publishers. 1986.Merriam, Sharan B. An modify on Adult Learning Theory. San Francisco Jossey-Bass Publishers, 1993.Stein, Jess. The Random House Dictionary of the English Language. New York Random House, 1966.

Fire-Starter :: Essays Papers

Fire-StarterCharacter Review Protagonist- Charlie McGee is a girl with pyrokinesis (a top executive in which someone can light fires with a glance). She is 8 years old. She is short, has blond hair, and dark-brown eyes. She doesnt like her power very much because she cant reassure it. When she was about 5 years old, she was in the kitchen with her pargonnts when they were trying to help her control her power. They gave her a test on a piece of toast, she burnt it to a crisp, and then she accidentally burnt her mothers hands. The next day, when her dad came class from work, Charlie and her mother were nowhere to be found. Her father, Andy McGee, found his wife, dead in a closet. Charlie was still missing the shop had killed her mother and kidnapped her. Both Andy and Charlies mother had telekinesis, (a power in which, someone can make a person think that something is what its not, or make them think what that person is thinking). Andy drove to a neighbors house, and use d his power on the two agents that had kidnapped Charlie. He and Charlie drove of and were in search of for a few years. Charlie cant stand people that are after her, or mean, or especially lie to her. Charlies whole life is included in this book. The book revolves around Charlies power. Its so powerful, that her parents cant even try to control it.Charlies main weakness is trusting too many people. She trusts to many strangers, which could lead to danger. Her basic problem is trying not to get caught by the shop (a secret government agency that wants to investigate her power). They have been after her since she was born. Since both of her parents had telekinesis, she was born with a disparate set of DNA, which gave her the power of pyrokinesis. I really like Charlie. I like the way she wants to control her power, and I like how she has a lot of confidence, its like she knows whats going to happen, and that everything is going to be fine.The thing that I specifically a dmire is the way she copes with the way she was brought up. She was brought up, to learn to use her power when she could to get money or food, or whatever she needed, but she knows that it isnt right to steal, and it isnt right to use a power that nobody else has to get something that you actually dont deserve.

drug essay :: essays research papers

Would I say no to drugs and alcohol if I were asked to try it? That is a enquire that I have been asked many times. What else can I say but absolutely Why would I say yes to something that very slowly destroys your body? Frankly, I dont turn in why anybody would actu in ally want to try it if they know the consequences that they will end up with later in life. Everybody knows, you and I know it, that if they continue smoking for the rest of their life, it is just a matter of time until something really horrible rolls around the corner and ruins the rest of their life. Just think of all the great opportunities that would be waiting for them if they chose to live a healthy life. Have you ever seen those smoking commercials? For instance, the one with the old lady with the hole in her cut? Well, some state might think those commercials are just pointless and gross, but I have a different opinion. I think those commercials appoint a strong message to young kids just starting to exp eriment with booze and drugs. They can see the actual effects they have on people and maybe, just maybe, teenagers and other people who are just starting will think twice about making smoking a regular habit. detrimental breath, premature wrinkles, yellow teeth, etc. are just some of the short-term effects that drugs will cast upon you. Its almost like casting a spell on youmagically they just appear. Some long-term effects of the poisons are much more severe and if you are lucky enough to watch them, youll sure wish you never started. Cancer, emphysema, and birth defects if you are pregnant, are just some of the horrible long-term effects that you will probably end up with in the latter parts of your life.

life :: essays research papers

I felt the warmth of my mothers hands on my cracked skin while she held my face. Her soft voice whispered in my ear good night. It was a cold winter night after Christmas as my mother tucked me in to bed, care she always had. After telling me good night her lips hit my cheek to give me the last kiss she incessantly would. As she walked issue, I told her I love you with all my heart and always will. In the, morning the warmth of the sun hit my face and woke me up like any other morning, however something was different, something just wasnt right. I lay in my warm bed, trying to ascertain why I wasnt tactility right. I jumped out of bed and woke my little brother up to go eat breakfast. As we walked down the hall, I heard my dad pouring a cup of hot coffee. Daddy is mom still sleeping, I asked. Mom will be gone for a while but baby, dont worry he told my brother and me in a sad voice. We will be just fine. I didnt understand why my mom would be gone though. I asked myself will she ever come back? Seven years have gone by and still my mom is gone, and my life has changed much than I thought it would. Jess, get Drews clothes ready for school tomorrow, my dad would admonish me every night before going to bed. make current my brother would be ready for school every morning, making sure he ate breakfast before he left for school, and making sure his homework was done everyday was what my mother used to do every morning and day but now she is gone. Now that she is gone I have to take that place. Now that I am the only lady in the house, I have to be the mother. No more going out on Friday nights with my friends, no more doing whatever I want. Every Friday, my friends would go out to the movies, and have fun without me. I had to stay home and make sure everything was right for my family. Now I have responsibilities like my brother who is now like my son. He thinks of me as not only a sister but a mother too. When you hear an eight year old boy call you mom a nd you are as young as me, its the scariest sense of touch you can have.